I was just looking at some pictures on facebook...of a friend of mine from a different world. Dazzling and glittery and crazy and happy. Thatz the story the pictures tell. I know there is a different story on the other side...but for once, can I have that? Can I have that wild craziness where there is only a bare, necessary bit of logic so we dont kill each other? Save for that, can I totally let go and just be young and mindless and drugged and happy? Oblivion. That's what I crave. Strange thing to be writing on a day when I'm feeling truly content and maybe, even subduedly happy.
I guess there are different kinds of happinesses. We all have, at one point or another, experienced the bone-deep happiness when we are just thankful for everything and glad that we are alive and happy...the joy of a beautiful memory, remembrances of delightful relationships, peaceful solitude...
And then, of course, there is the mad happiness, where we take a break from monotony and giggle over the silliness of life. Prolly happens more when we are young and naive/stupid...and hopefully, doesnt stop as we grow older.
But the kind of happiness I want, which I prolly had only in sharp bursts of ecstatic flashes, is the all-consuming kind...atleast for those blinks of time. Giddy ecstasy with no intrusive reason or logic, no silly relationship rules...just mind-numbing happiness letting you float away in a hazy consciousness between the harsh light of rigid strictures and the darkness of depression. This friend of mine used a byutiful phrase to describe this happiness...and it is one of my favourites: A wobbly-bendy happiness!